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Paling In Comparison (a hate letter of sorts) I am going to punch the next person who tells me You need some sun! in the face. Seriously. Square in the middle of their damn face. Let's all say it once and get it off our chest: Damn, you're white! Yes. Yes I am. It's called my fucking skin tone, and if the rest of the world would get over it, I'd be much happier. You would seriously think I was the only pale person on the planet. You'd think I was albino. From the way people say things like You are SO pale!, you would think that my skin tone was freakish. It's not. It's called a dual British/Irish heritage. It's called my natural skin tone. It's the way I look, and after thirty years of having it called to my attention in cutesy/annoying/snide/joking/whatever fashion, I am over it. I was over it in high school, and I'm over it now. You think you're being original? Wrong. Especially not if you choose to link up my taste in music to my skin color! Ha, ha! Oh, that's so funny - no one has ever said that to me. Really. Honest. You're such a comedian. The fact that you don't really know me? SO makes it okay that you're saying these things. Really. Honest. News flash, world: I'm pale. Get over it. I will always be this color. Deal. I will never tan. Stop telling me to. (I will never have skin cancer, either - but you go ahead. Tan to that nice healthy color, and I'll try not to notice all the tiny little scars and Band-aids when you have your malignant moles lasered off in twenty years.) Do I sound bitter? Do I sound pissed? I hope so. It doesn't really matter to write it here, but it doesn't really matter to say things to people either and if I don't write it down, I may scream. People joke about my skin tone all. the. time. With summer here, it's going to just get bad again, like it does every summer when I have to wear shorts and tank tops and more of my skin comes out to play. I am really, really not looking forward to it, and I'm going to start getting rude. I mean - what is it exactly about being pale/not tanning that opens the door wide for teasing, snide remarks, and unwelcome advice about unhealthy habits? I get outside. I get plenty of fresh air and sunshine. This is the color of my skin. It is not okay for you to make me feel like a freak because of it. I have tried every possible response over the years, and now I just don't care what you think. Shut up, and leave me and my paleness the hell alone. Seriously. You go get a tan, and call me from the dermatologist. |